Red Ashes

Right, I'm here! Done my homework, posted my work - thanks for commenting :D - and now here to complete my promise. I see you've already got a second chapter ...

Well I liked the sound of this, so I shall review. Pardon for the red - my corrections. And I will underline, where possible, the bit of your work I ...

Thank you, those who commented on the previous parts of this story, and to those who might commented on this one. We are getting ever closer to the action (battle) ...

Thank you all very much! :D I've only just got back from a holiday so that's why my thanks is late in coming. I am very, very, very, very grateful ...

Well, what I can say is that this is a pretty demented story. :? I mean, since when does a brother take advantage of his little sister's weaknesses. (and body) ...

Okay, yeah I've done that right. :D ~Ash~

Her eyes wondered around the room. She layed lay still in the bed, confused. The sore and agonizing pain between her legs made her squirm in discomfort but it didn’t ...

Hi, my corrections are in red and the bit of your writing I am correcting will be underlined (where possible). :D Well then, I shall beginning. The place was northern ...

____________________________________________________________________________________ Very long ago, in a faraway land, there was a princess. She was beautiful in every sense of the word; her large eye

I am but the remaining pulp of a beaten, abused, abandoned, starving little girl. Nice beginning. :D This house is dark and it smells of dust and dogs. The dark ...

Wow, Rachel, people are flocking! :shock: Gosh, I'm shy around people as well, not on this site though, I'm in my element! I like Biology too, and Chemistry. I hate ...

Heya, I'm Ash, I'll be your critiquer today! My corrections are in red and, where it's possible, I'll underline the bit of your writing that I'm marking. 'Kay? It better ...

Yay, you answered my questions! :D Hello Rachel, I like Christopher Paolini too!!! Meg Cabot... her name sounds familiar. Moon buddies, I love the moon... *sighs* ~Ash~

Oh, okay. Well I've started now so I guess I'll just have to deal with the Chapter naming thing. Still, thanks for the helpfl advice. :D ~Ash~

Hi, I've been waiting for someone to critique my work and I was wandering about until I found this piece. So I will begin this instant. :D My corrections are ...